not sure how im gonna do this
but at this point theres no turning back
so i can only tell myself
"keep calm and keep going"
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
long dayy
a long and tiring day
am clinic: final case pt suddenly had toothache and have to start RCT now on a sclerosed upper first molar @.@ (so gonna bring in pt with tempo filling during exam).. spent the whole session taking xray-LA-rubber dam-remove massive MOD amalgam-investigate the adjacent tooth and this tooth-tempo dressing this tooth (so basically hvnt started on RCT)...
lunch break: no break at all, spent it in the lab trying to sort out another pt's denture, not finished yet, gonna continue on Monday (it was a good decision to bring my water bottle in today so i wasnt dehydrated)
pm clinic: a fruitful ortho session, as shared a tutor with another student only, hehe, saw 2 patients on my own and observed 3 others, got to questions as well, but the tutor said he might hv to fail me on the first pt for missing out the main problem (though i mentioend it but i din put much focus on it) and not putting everything tgt (a big bom for someone who has finals in 24 days, dont u think so?), but i told myself, that's cos i dont normally have him, not used to his presenting style, and also his 'no-nonsence' presentation style is so helpful for finals, better be bommed now than later.. despite that, how did i not pay attn to this consultant before???? he's charming, patient, explains things really well, shows no favouritsm, no nonsense when come to case presentation, go straight to the point, wish i have another 10 more sessions with him!!
despite all that, God did send angels during this hard time:
- during am clinic, a fren who was waiting to ask my tutor sth (our groups happen to share a same tutor) helped me to suction, made thigns so much easier for me (cf no nurse/nurse getting in the way of me leftie :P)
- my sweet sweet neighbour/junior/friend cooked me chicken soup, awww
that gv a good ending for today's long long day :)
am clinic: final case pt suddenly had toothache and have to start RCT now on a sclerosed upper first molar @.@ (so gonna bring in pt with tempo filling during exam).. spent the whole session taking xray-LA-rubber dam-remove massive MOD amalgam-investigate the adjacent tooth and this tooth-tempo dressing this tooth (so basically hvnt started on RCT)...
lunch break: no break at all, spent it in the lab trying to sort out another pt's denture, not finished yet, gonna continue on Monday (it was a good decision to bring my water bottle in today so i wasnt dehydrated)
pm clinic: a fruitful ortho session, as shared a tutor with another student only, hehe, saw 2 patients on my own and observed 3 others, got to questions as well, but the tutor said he might hv to fail me on the first pt for missing out the main problem (though i mentioend it but i din put much focus on it) and not putting everything tgt (a big bom for someone who has finals in 24 days, dont u think so?), but i told myself, that's cos i dont normally have him, not used to his presenting style, and also his 'no-nonsence' presentation style is so helpful for finals, better be bommed now than later.. despite that, how did i not pay attn to this consultant before???? he's charming, patient, explains things really well, shows no favouritsm, no nonsense when come to case presentation, go straight to the point, wish i have another 10 more sessions with him!!
despite all that, God did send angels during this hard time:
- during am clinic, a fren who was waiting to ask my tutor sth (our groups happen to share a same tutor) helped me to suction, made thigns so much easier for me (cf no nurse/nurse getting in the way of me leftie :P)
- my sweet sweet neighbour/junior/friend cooked me chicken soup, awww
that gv a good ending for today's long long day :)
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Job 1:21
Reached a stage, when I just feel oddly calm and gv up worrying...
What I had learnt remained true until today, although I have forsaken this knowledge for a while:
"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
Not trying to take this to cover my own incompetency (surely it's there somewhere at any stage tht has contributed to my struggle today) but no one can doubt, how small and helpless we are, and how sovereign our Creator is. As true as He is sovereign, His love for us is true as well. Time to keep calm and keep going despite everything.
What I had learnt remained true until today, although I have forsaken this knowledge for a while:
"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
Not trying to take this to cover my own incompetency (surely it's there somewhere at any stage tht has contributed to my struggle today) but no one can doubt, how small and helpless we are, and how sovereign our Creator is. As true as He is sovereign, His love for us is true as well. Time to keep calm and keep going despite everything.
Monday, April 23, 2012
counting down to 28 days
awakened to the panicky feeling before my alarm set off...
time, y i no use u wisely huhu....
wish i hv second chance, but supposed with my sui kuan i wil waste it til last min again aisk
time, y i no use u wisely huhu....
wish i hv second chance, but supposed with my sui kuan i wil waste it til last min again aisk
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
night time
still sitting in front of my computer at such hour due to my 'nap' (which made me woke up at 11pm), blame the inhalational sedation i had this afternoon :P
scenes of clinic (esp with final patient) flashed thru uncontrollably as i read about a particular lecture, keep relating to my pt, praying taht the pulp wont die, those fillings worth replacing, the buidups, etc etc etc...
sometimes, a single wrong decision (generally) leads to many sorrows in many days to come @@
should hv insisted in doing this and that, doing the RIGHT thing... aiskkk
i think i shall not nap til so late again in coming days, so that i sleep earlier and wake up earlier, rather than sitting here trying to read but with random thoughts flying thru my minds @@
p/s: regret for not seeing u just now, now i miss u, aisk aisk
scenes of clinic (esp with final patient) flashed thru uncontrollably as i read about a particular lecture, keep relating to my pt, praying taht the pulp wont die, those fillings worth replacing, the buidups, etc etc etc...
sometimes, a single wrong decision (generally) leads to many sorrows in many days to come @@
should hv insisted in doing this and that, doing the RIGHT thing... aiskkk
i think i shall not nap til so late again in coming days, so that i sleep earlier and wake up earlier, rather than sitting here trying to read but with random thoughts flying thru my minds @@
p/s: regret for not seeing u just now, now i miss u, aisk aisk
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
student!!!!
both the lab head tutor and the one in charge of sending work to outsdie lab exclaimed at the same time "student!!!!" when i went back to the lab a few minutes after i left as i realised that I sent in the wrong impression, OMG...
not reli wrong, but the one i sent in was not as good as the one i was intended to send.. not sure how i got it wrong, must be thikning about sth else when i took the impression out of my locker to send it (initially tot i wun need it anymore as already been cast out in house)..
well the point is, it's so good to be a student, huhu, few months left (if i pass everything), and i will hv to leave this comfortable status to a wild wild world out there. any mistake, i will get a letter from the GDC or equivalent, or even got it big from trainer/boss @@
kesian those who hv to teach and work with students, i think we are really irresponsible and careless at times, and didnt really think thru before we made a decision, bad bad...
another incident this morning,
me:"sorry for interrupting ur work, im looking for xxx"
him:"are u really sorry?"
me:"nodded"
him:"no, u r not"
yea, indeed, im only trying to be polite, like how i was taught to..
hipocrit init, but what else should i say? excuse me? isnt that sorry as well?
oh well, used to think that ppl here are quite hipocrit, as they greet u with "are u alrite? how are u?" when they dun really care how u really are. but with times, im becoming like one of them too...oopsie
not reli wrong, but the one i sent in was not as good as the one i was intended to send.. not sure how i got it wrong, must be thikning about sth else when i took the impression out of my locker to send it (initially tot i wun need it anymore as already been cast out in house)..
well the point is, it's so good to be a student, huhu, few months left (if i pass everything), and i will hv to leave this comfortable status to a wild wild world out there. any mistake, i will get a letter from the GDC or equivalent, or even got it big from trainer/boss @@
kesian those who hv to teach and work with students, i think we are really irresponsible and careless at times, and didnt really think thru before we made a decision, bad bad...
another incident this morning,
me:"sorry for interrupting ur work, im looking for xxx"
him:"are u really sorry?"
me:"nodded"
him:"no, u r not"
yea, indeed, im only trying to be polite, like how i was taught to..
hipocrit init, but what else should i say? excuse me? isnt that sorry as well?
oh well, used to think that ppl here are quite hipocrit, as they greet u with "are u alrite? how are u?" when they dun really care how u really are. but with times, im becoming like one of them too...oopsie
Monday, April 16, 2012
all the more reason
to study hard now!!!!
was very demotivated before, always nervous and worried..no mood to study and in denial all the time.
today initially tot it would be a bad day when pt called to cancel his appointment one hour before my tutorial which is one n a half hour before my clinic!
my group tutor was emphathetic and supportive and even suggested to talk to a consultant next week regarding this patient so that i dun hv to struggle with time to make another session to see him, awww <3 my fav tutor
was feeling abit down cos potential bridge just flew away, when u desperate even a half unit means alot (or can make up one if can make 2 cantilever to replace one molar??)
and very nervously went to see the tutor in charge of crown sign up, so so scared, like before exam, cold palms and palpitation (literally), and our sign up is this fri, it will be too late if he gonna say anything extreme to me.. but he said he's gonna sign me off provisionally and wanted me to show him my crown card again next month when i see this 2 other patients for crown. fiuhh. reli reli hope nothing will go against plan, and at leaast for now, i can say, i see hope again.
been receiving supports and helps from tutors, frens, coursemates, directly or indirectly. now it's down to me, must get over myself and reli work hard!
was very demotivated before, always nervous and worried..no mood to study and in denial all the time.
today initially tot it would be a bad day when pt called to cancel his appointment one hour before my tutorial which is one n a half hour before my clinic!
my group tutor was emphathetic and supportive and even suggested to talk to a consultant next week regarding this patient so that i dun hv to struggle with time to make another session to see him, awww <3 my fav tutor
was feeling abit down cos potential bridge just flew away, when u desperate even a half unit means alot (or can make up one if can make 2 cantilever to replace one molar??)
and very nervously went to see the tutor in charge of crown sign up, so so scared, like before exam, cold palms and palpitation (literally), and our sign up is this fri, it will be too late if he gonna say anything extreme to me.. but he said he's gonna sign me off provisionally and wanted me to show him my crown card again next month when i see this 2 other patients for crown. fiuhh. reli reli hope nothing will go against plan, and at leaast for now, i can say, i see hope again.
been receiving supports and helps from tutors, frens, coursemates, directly or indirectly. now it's down to me, must get over myself and reli work hard!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
a lot of times
i was found and now lost again
feeling that im a lost sheep once again >.<
rescue me, my Shephard
feeling that im a lost sheep once again >.<
rescue me, my Shephard
Friday, April 13, 2012
miss
Sometimes i do miss those times with them..
but now, focus on graduating bahhh, still so much to read @.@
totally not motivated...
since when i got myself into this messy life sigh
but now, focus on graduating bahhh, still so much to read @.@
totally not motivated...
since when i got myself into this messy life sigh
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
fav song
was once my fav when i first heard it in CMC Banting, and now when i hear it again, still love it as much!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7asEdmZsSPo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7asEdmZsSPo&feature=related
let the battle begin
48 days left, not much revision done or ongoing, not sure if im able to sign up..
but now that i think it thru, i will regret if i dun work hard now, at least to try to revise, what if i reli manage to sign up despite not having enough crown, but becasue i hv 'no mood' to study that i failed my exam, so nono mustnt let that happen!
but now that i think it thru, i will regret if i dun work hard now, at least to try to revise, what if i reli manage to sign up despite not having enough crown, but becasue i hv 'no mood' to study that i failed my exam, so nono mustnt let that happen!
Monday, April 2, 2012
work hard
"you will be fine if you work hard"
but the thing is, i've no motivation, no fighting spirit, no mood whatsover to work hard now @.@
but then again, deadline is deadline, shall go check if any consultant around to help me out now..
but the thing is, i've no motivation, no fighting spirit, no mood whatsover to work hard now @.@
but then again, deadline is deadline, shall go check if any consultant around to help me out now..
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