nightmare

Last week was the official start of my nightmare.
2 weeks of SSC (student selected component) which was pretty relaxing has passed, and we were back on clinic for good, no more break, no more fooling around, it's real.

Last Tue marked the trigger point of my panic attack when the head tutor who happened to cover my group extra session, questioned me about my progress in crown/bridge requirement. I did 0, note: big zero. Despite myself attending every clinical sessions, booked in patients for every sessions. Never skipped any session during my outreach. Somehow, I still did 0. He questioned me what im gonna do and he can foresee ppl not signing up for finals. T.T

Wed, we had a lecture on finals exams, clinical requirements and in course assessment. Another panic attack session. Sign up date is earlier than i tot since our finals is being brought forward 2 weeks. Gosh, so dead.

Thurs, we had a lecture with our dean, and she went through some oral medicine (since shes the ultimate expert, in tertiary dentistry, in that field)slides and topics with us.. omg, can ans only 10%, maximum, great, stress with clinics, stress with revision.

Friday, didnt manage to obturate the 4 canals i treated, another session needed, OMG..

Was in so much stress last week that I kept saying to myself tht im not gonna make it, that i hv to even think about failing without sitting for exam, just becasue i cant finish my clinical requirement :(

Why did all these happen? not requirement driven enough? not setting my goals rite? too lazy to care and plan properly from the start???

wats the use of thkning of all these now???

my kind and helpful grp rep manage to calm me down last week n gv me an action plan. i felt better after talking to him.

now a new week begins, also marks that Feb is coming to an end, and im a step closer to deadline but stil far away from finishing.

stressed stressed...

each of us is meant to get a letter from the head tutor starting from this week. I dreaded the moment when i receive and open the letter later. i fear that it might quench the fighting power in me, which has not much left in me for a start....

p/s: i need someone who is aware and in control of my situation to tell me "it's ok, there is still hope"