BIG sighhh

realized that my blog is getting boring, the only thing that drives me to write sth here is - negativity

yea, once again, nothing seems right nowadays

sent a reminder text to a pt whom im supposed to see this Fri (who told me he can make during last visit and wanted a reminder text) to hv him told me that he cant make it for the next 3 weeks, great.. and the deadline is just around the corner

booked in my other denture patient yesterday since my root canal treatment pt couldnt make it, tried to make myself motivated to carry out the plan, read up and be ready. Patient was nice and turned up and didnt grudge for not being able to see her before this. Tooth prep, master imp, send to lab, thats the plan... tutor checked and suspected caries. okey, xray taken. yea a tooth with decay (which can be seen clinically) and 2 massive amalgam fillings that need replacement, great. denture plan to be postponed, as occlusion will be affected with the fillings replaced.

today's patient, good patient and ive seen her most. did alot of works on her too. today came back with unexpected toothache, spent abit of time taking xray. checked, luckily, no change of plan. manage to do wat i can. but her case was not a straightforward one as well. Thought to be able to progress faster. did all i can. tadaaaa.... the metal sent back from the lab was faulty. goshh, beyond my control okeyy... wrote a complaint form adn asked to remake and refund. but who can pay me back the time, sessions, and loss caused to me?

root canal treatment patient is another pain. started quite advanced in the beginning of the year. got an endo patient, yay. ended up, tooth fractured (isit bcause it was underfilled, which is not done by me and i was nearly blamed for it, thanks for the witness, mate) and xla was the solution. great. and after this, no more endo patient, school running out, 5th year need to be priotised.  got another pt from a mate, thats very nice of her, but tht patient, can only make it like once a month everytime i tried to book him in. sigh. got another patient recently, but is there anymore sessions left to see her before summer?

dental electives. applied to japan, so excited about it, bought books to learn the language, approved by the uni there to go. then, natural disasters happen, earthquake, tsunami, nuclear plant radiation. 3 of us, 1 started to want to pull out as she scared. parents and closed one show concern too. ok, back to home to do it. i'd rather stay here. flight is expensive, might missed summer clinics, and wat's the catch? only feel stressed wheneva i think abt it.

what has gone wrong? everything just go hay-wired. the blessings i had in the past for all my life seem to had jsut left me overnight. 

isit me? ive tried my best to book in patient for every clinical sessions i have (n indeed i had), and attended all the timetabled session. not a good student?

there must be sth lacking that all these are happening to me... (oh well, high 5 my dear clinical partner, u were right, we;ve been having such 'luck' since our first ever clinical session)

im desperate now, so desperate i think i would just walk on the street and look into ppl's mouth and beg them to come to me during clinic and i wil provide free tx. but then again, how about medical history? complicated? the procedures to be done before accpeting the patient. bloody hell!!!!

mood affected, wat's with the hardwork i put in doing my writeup when i m not even sure if i can pass that assessment wihtout doing part of it. :(

and wats with revision when im not sure if i can pass my finals if i missed alot of marks in my in course assessment..

i hate the world. i hate everything that is going on with me.