An embarrassing moment

is when u r alone,in ur train compartment, at least the closest person is a gangway away from u then u decided to let ur fart go, n someone decided at that very moment to walk into the train n sit nowhere else but in front of u, sharing that same table. N 10 s later he started to look around n moved to somewhere else. then u wish dearly that it's nt bcos of u

overslept

grrr pissed off, overslept and now it's passed office hour >.<

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - ESV

why is it printed on the plastic bag? message of Christmas huh xD

genuine laughter

u know wat they love to do, sitting around in the kitchen chatting most of the time and my room is just literally next to it, cant really hear what they say but sort of can work out some of those ppl, esp those with distinct voice.

been hearing v's voice (she doesnt stay with us) since i woke up from nap, dun really feel like going to kitchen as i know how the conversation will be like and how bored i wil b.

but eventually the nature call got the better of me - hungerrrr, need to get my dinner, so i stepped in and cooked my meal. and v continue to talk and talk and talk, mainly about herself and those sitting there just listen and gv her response accordingly. and i just continued to get bored, didnt even bother to laugh to be honest, just putting myself in the background, cooking...

and at one point, as how she normally is, she shouted while telling about her story, my expression would be =.='

and out of a sudden, j just stormed out of his room and looked curiously into the kitchen and showed his surprised and shocked expression, that really set me off laughing xDD

finally someone who is naturally humorous and not too over the top gv me a good laugh, thanks :D

clarification: i did enjoy conversing, clearly rmb myself during college time, with a couple of frens, we can jsut meet each other in the corridor or someones room and chat thru the nite withouit feeling bored; even in uni when im amongst ppl i can talk to.. but here, i think i tried and i gv up oredi (except with those special few)

pondering christmas

A group of multiracial and multifaith students decorating their hall kitchen with christmas decoration, halfway through,

A: "now we can draw baby Jesus"
B: "let's not involve the religion bit"

The christian student there just remain silent, thinking is it out of respect in case someone drew Him ugly-ly or is it just a conclusion that Jesus shouldnt be involved in this?

But what is Christmas if it is not the birthday of our King, Lord Jesus who was born to die for our sins and rose again so that we can live through Him? And who actually attend and celebrate a birthday party without knowing/care who the birthday girl/boy is?

last rotation

but nothing has changed this time
not wanting time to pass by too quickly
but looking forward to weekend every week
3 more weeks to go! *count down eagerly*

disorganized

busy and disoriented lately @.@
need to sort things out after tomorrow!

p/s: hopefully can show my best during interview tmr, not too sia sui tiok ok @@

boooooooo

they dun care about me and i dun care abt them
so why bother, blaaaaaaaa leave me alone and let me do what i need to do
ppl are racist to a certain extent arent they??
unnecessary competition? ur ancestors were once like me okey (at least to a certain extnet, not that i wana root in this country pun, it's too cold- at least the ppl are)

part 4 后感

来也匆匆， 去也匆匆
当中有不少的遗憾 也有不少的欣慰
感谢上帝的不离不弃
感谢老师们的revision lectures and seminars
感谢能与两位死党共同作战 （<3<3 amir and sarah <3<3)
感谢那几位 groupmates and 较熟的coursemates 的分享
更感谢从头到尾支持我的

it's impossible to walk alone in this
and shall worry about the results 2 weeks later !
may we all passed!

Bless me, Lord

As i was feeling stressed and logged into my blog,
saw a contact's latest post in my newsfeed, was guessing is the song, and it is!
sang the song before in my church here in london, and used to think that song is nice.
and now it popped out to me when i needed it, ok i shall take courage from the msg sent by the song.

23 yrs of my life, You never forsake me nor leave me, pls bring me through this once more, Abba father.

nom nom nom

thanks for feeding me during my exams prep, j,w and p :D

Hallelujah

Your sovereignty is to be praised, You are above all

another day

你不说话没人会说你哑巴。。。(no one would say u r mute if u dont speak- direct translation)


p/s: to R, thanks for being so nice so far, pointing out my mistake nicely, explain and teach and show patiently. truly appreciate that

not ready at all

the title says it all, feel that im not ready at all for the coming finals, help, i need miracle with a capital M

time-less

i wish i had more time, no, i wish i had made use of my time better :(

the moon represents my heart

你问我爱你有多深 我爱你有几分 　　
我的情也真 　　我的爱也真 　　
月亮代表我的心 　　

你问我爱你有多深 　　我爱你有几分 　　
我的情不移 　　我的爱不变 　　
月亮代表我的心 　　

轻轻的一个吻 　　已经打动我的心 　　
深深的一段情 　　叫我思念到如今 　　

你问我爱你有多深 　　我爱你有几分 　　
你去想一想 　　你去看一看 　　
月亮代表我的心 　　

轻轻的一个吻 　　已经打动我的心 　　
深深的一段情 　　叫我思念到如今 　　

你问我爱你有多深 　　我爱你有几分 　　
你去想一想 　　你去看一看 　　
月亮代表我的心 　　

你去想一想 　　你去看一看 　　
月亮代表我的心

p/s: no wonder people often said 'i will love u till the end of the world' as the end of the world arrives, the moon together with the rest of the creation will pass away. Only His Word stays

anyway, this is meant for romance, lol

Grateful

Thinking of those less fortunate, for eg, those handicapped, those who died in war, those who died in the holocaust during the prime of their lives, those who fallen ill, those who lack opportunity and financial support to pursue their dreams,

the stress im having, the hectic schedule i hv, the challenges i face everyday in clinics and in the lab, are all blessings from above.

Live well, Melissa :)

p/s: nevertheless not an excuse to be lazy nor slack ;)

depression is the last thing i wanted

therefore,

impossible = i'm possible

jia you!!!!

a break

I need a break,
from all clinics and lab works,
from everyone and the errands.

Just me and my revision will do. thank you

'welcome to final yr'

it's hard to walk alone in all these...

tired and tiring

unrighteous jelousy

jealousy is a consuming fire, 害人害己

stressed

stress is piling up, and this morning i woke up after i dreamt of a groupmate asking a consultant about our exams, zzzzzzz, such boring dream. and woke up really stressed >.<

woke up earlier to do some revision, but can't focus, why? something is in the way.. ahhh, clinic sessions.. hvnt got a pt booked in for next monday, as according to one of the tutors of that day, the clinic is cancelled, but we hvnt received any notification, hmph..

after thinking through, mayb clinic is still on, i dont wana waste a session (which is oredi so limited with the number of tx need doing), i sent a text to one of my patients, who i think can come next monday.


now, at least i hv done something about it, time to focus and get some revision done >.<

offended

it's not really a nice thing to say, even IF you meant it as a joke.
all i've done is ive used one extra sheet of pink wax and built it abit taller as i misunderstood the note regarding the 3 quarters of the width, which i did exactly..

no wonder it's said that the tongue of the wise can bring healing, and of the fool, i guess otherwise

A dedication

to my dear Lord,

'you alone can rescue,
you alone can save.
you alone can lift us from the grave.
you came down to find us,
led us out of death.
to you belongs the highest praise.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2cWrjq-O0I&feature=related

pls forgive us and bless us despite our sins.

Missing

BIG sighhh

realized that my blog is getting boring, the only thing that drives me to write sth here is - negativity

yea, once again, nothing seems right nowadays

sent a reminder text to a pt whom im supposed to see this Fri (who told me he can make during last visit and wanted a reminder text) to hv him told me that he cant make it for the next 3 weeks, great.. and the deadline is just around the corner

booked in my other denture patient yesterday since my root canal treatment pt couldnt make it, tried to make myself motivated to carry out the plan, read up and be ready. Patient was nice and turned up and didnt grudge for not being able to see her before this. Tooth prep, master imp, send to lab, thats the plan... tutor checked and suspected caries. okey, xray taken. yea a tooth with decay (which can be seen clinically) and 2 massive amalgam fillings that need replacement, great. denture plan to be postponed, as occlusion will be affected with the fillings replaced.

today's patient, good patient and ive seen her most. did alot of works on her too. today came back with unexpected toothache, spent abit of time taking xray. checked, luckily, no change of plan. manage to do wat i can. but her case was not a straightforward one as well. Thought to be able to progress faster. did all i can. tadaaaa.... the metal sent back from the lab was faulty. goshh, beyond my control okeyy... wrote a complaint form adn asked to remake and refund. but who can pay me back the time, sessions, and loss caused to me?

root canal treatment patient is another pain. started quite advanced in the beginning of the year. got an endo patient, yay. ended up, tooth fractured (isit bcause it was underfilled, which is not done by me and i was nearly blamed for it, thanks for the witness, mate) and xla was the solution. great. and after this, no more endo patient, school running out, 5th year need to be priotised.  got another pt from a mate, thats very nice of her, but tht patient, can only make it like once a month everytime i tried to book him in. sigh. got another patient recently, but is there anymore sessions left to see her before summer?

dental electives. applied to japan, so excited about it, bought books to learn the language, approved by the uni there to go. then, natural disasters happen, earthquake, tsunami, nuclear plant radiation. 3 of us, 1 started to want to pull out as she scared. parents and closed one show concern too. ok, back to home to do it. i'd rather stay here. flight is expensive, might missed summer clinics, and wat's the catch? only feel stressed wheneva i think abt it.

what has gone wrong? everything just go hay-wired. the blessings i had in the past for all my life seem to had jsut left me overnight. 

isit me? ive tried my best to book in patient for every clinical sessions i have (n indeed i had), and attended all the timetabled session. not a good student?

there must be sth lacking that all these are happening to me... (oh well, high 5 my dear clinical partner, u were right, we;ve been having such 'luck' since our first ever clinical session)

im desperate now, so desperate i think i would just walk on the street and look into ppl's mouth and beg them to come to me during clinic and i wil provide free tx. but then again, how about medical history? complicated? the procedures to be done before accpeting the patient. bloody hell!!!!

mood affected, wat's with the hardwork i put in doing my writeup when i m not even sure if i can pass that assessment wihtout doing part of it. :(

and wats with revision when im not sure if i can pass my finals if i missed alot of marks in my in course assessment..

i hate the world. i hate everything that is going on with me.

 

wrong

Nothing seems to go right nowadays
everything everywhere

大扫除

曾经认为对自己很重要的 已不再那么重要了
曾经在房间满得乱七八糟也一定要留住的 现在丢了反而更好
曾经为你包裹伤口的 有天可能会让你受伤
曾经逗你哈哈大笑的 有天可能会让你哭干眼泪

人生本来就充满无常
许多事情都随着时间改变
只要以平常心面对就好


唯一不变的是阿爸父你的话语，你的爱

夜深人静时

过去的种种
现在
未来的种种
在脑海中翻来复去。。。

the Day

been neglecting what was and is important in my life, draw me close to You once more, Abba

alienated in a foreign land, everywhere is foreign anyway

it's my 4th yr studying in the UK, am not someone who always fight for my right, as i think i've always been quite blessed and provided with what i needed in life.

but there are two incidents that happened in the UK so far that left me feeling deprived and helpless in a foreign land.
- Bank (i think i shall save it til next time)
- see a doctor: a bizarre incident happened to me on Friday evening. It was a tensed day as I had a viva with the Child oral health and orthodontics tutors. Passed the exam and was supposed to be a happy ending. Walked down the stairs to go home. checking my phone and happily wana share good news. Tangggggggg. A heavy object fell from the sky and hit my finger, and made a 'cling' metal sound upon touching the floor, it was an extraction forceps. And i was stunned looking at my injured finger. Not long after, one of my grpmates came running down looking for it and realized that it hit me. went to clinic and washed it. she had been nice to me lately and it was an accident and she did apologize. so i told her im alrite and not to worry.
Went home, the pain got worse, and the bleeding sip through my second layer of plaster, the joint felt pain as well. Went to have a nap and was feeling betta. Next day set off to all england. all was great and the wound got betta.
....
sunday nite, when on the train home, i realised, my finger got redder, erythema? infection? omg..
pris saw and advised me to see doctor (sorry jiajia) in case of IE (infective endocarditis, infection to the lining of the heart, usu caused by oral microflora).
so this afternoon, such coincidence, my aftanoon lecture was cancelled. So i went to the walk in centre. the receptionist saw my finger, and told me it look swollen and asked me to go to the A&E. Went there, waited and was called in by a chinese looking doctor. Everything is fine according to him. No fracture and no bacterial infection. Told him i am worried cos it's a used forceps. He said if im reli worried, can get an antibacterial cream, he wrote it on the sheet of paper and asked me to get fr pharmacy or get my GP to prescribe it. Bet he is a racist or an antidentist doctor. the system said im a dental. he asked me wat i was doing to injure my hand, i told him it fell on me and that im a dental student. when he wrote my note as dental nurse, i told him im a student. and he said it doesnt matter to him cos he's already a doctor. and perhaps im chinese so im more concern abt hierarchy. huh?? i told him as nurse is a staff, but im a student, aisk i want my free treatment la come on =.=
Went out from A&E feeling relieved, so went to the outpatient pharmacy next door to ask. It was a cream on prescription. So i went to Globe surgery to see if i can get a prescription fr my GP. The reception told me im a student, so was asked to see the one in the uni. went to the student health service, to be told that my name was in the system but im not registered for this yr. WTH
I hv to fill in the form to re-register ( I went the year before last and was told that i dun hv to do anything cos i was registered oredi, so i tot i dun hv to aisk) and i hv to bring the proof of address. To add salt on my wound, the next available appointment is not until next week =.=
i was so pissed with the system and i just walked out afta thanking her. Didnt know that the door was heavy and it banged loudly behind me, oops, din mean it. but i guess it did me justice.
haih, i think i probably dead or had my finger chopped off oredi by the time i get to see a GP. WTF system.
anyway, thank God tht throughout these years, i was not inflicted with fatal diseases or illnesses. the forceps hit me but not on my head, hit my finger, but not my left hand. :)
less pissed now, afta ranting here and on fb and with a fren.

now regretted for not tapao-ing food on my way back due to the pissed off mood just now :P

My love is not sufficient; whose is but the Author of love?

:(

myprosucks

This time I've tried almost my best, read up, did what I can in the lab, consulted a lab tutor and a clinical tutor... But, what did i get?

Being criticized for having too many rest seats on the planned failure tooth(which is of course suggested by a clinical tutor to prevent food packing and to make thing easier if we do end up losing that tooth); Not being able to realize that it's an eight instead of a seven (though I've been charting it since last time and the mouth's been shown and no other tutors ever corrected. Thanks for pointing it out, really, but to say that I'm graduating next yr and if I cant tell and also cant opt it out fr design is to fail, that's not helpful).

U said by looking at me u'll know if I understand what u were saying or not. Stop acting like u know me so well when u dun. assume is just making an ASS out of U and ME.
Although towards the end of the session, u said i've done quite a lot today and i've done well after u shown me, i still think that i'm progressing very slowly under you and i dont reli get u most times, at least i duno how to improve anymore, and that sucks

I used to like pros, at least to hv good expectation about it. Been suggested by my dentist that it's an area to be pursued, done well in my course units so far, i was even happy once to get u as u r left handed.. but to reach this stage and to realize that i suck in it, not knowing wat u want and how to improve is reli a big turn off...

ok, end of emo post.. not gonna give up. u're trying to teach and u r happy when ur students did well...thanks to my clinical partner who is always by my side helping and supporting, a few of my grpmates who've been kind to me and one of u who was less nice but that helps me to understand that a fren in need is a fren indeed

and above all, my heavenly Father, i thank You that in times like this, You remind me that Your grace is sufficient and Your approval (which Jesus has achieved by dying for my sins) is all i need. i shall continue to work my best and to rest in You.

if only

if only there's anything i can do to help
if only im there to give u a big hug
if only i hv the authority to make a change
Lord, pls hold us tight

Lost....

Lost
Dilemma
Determination
Repentance
...